The Disconnect

I had an appointment with my shrink the other day and we started talking about my career. She said something along the lines of, "I know that you're a very accomplishment oriented person and that you talk about all these projects and endeavors and what you need to do to succeed, but there seems to be a disconnect when it comes to execution." Woah! Shrinker just called me out on my bullshit. Not that it's bullshit, but she's kinda right.

There is most definitely a disconnect for me. It's not that I haven't tried to connect, because I certainly have, it's that sometimes it's hard not to get paralyzed and overwhelmed by fear and ignorance. I'd like to think that I'm learning more and more about this industry everyday but the truth of the matter is, I still don't have anything close to a technical team that I can attach to my creative projects. I still have creative teams flake out and disperse constantly. Have I stopped trying? No. But have I lost a little of my gusto? Yes.

There may be a self-confidence issue at play too, a fear to totally put myself out there and be rejected. The thing with rejection is, art is so subjective and if someone hates me and thinks I'm a moron then there's gotta be someone out there that thinks I'm a genius.

Somehow I need to kick things up into hyper gear. There's no more time to lose.